Fortune Tellers

To set the mood.


Today I had quite a lot of fun writing about an encounter with a fortune teller. Quite random. And a seriously fun concept to mess with.
The official assignment was "Your character has just forked over hard-earned cash to have their fortune told. Sitting in a dark room with lots of smoke, your character hears what? And how do they react?"


I am going to warn you: what I wrote is quite long. Also, to avoid confusion, because I know I didn't specify, it is a man. Or a least in my head it was. Could be taken either way I suppose.

"The lady snatched greedily at my poor bill, the last one I have on me.

“You may go inside, to see what fortune awaits you.” she intoned. I think it was probably meant to be mystical & mysterious, but the effect was ruined by her reaching into the folds of her shirt-apron thing and bringing out a wad of cash to count.

The tent she had vaguely gestured to was quite shabby; it looked like it had been completely purple in better times. Now, it was splattered with brown, and occasionally a bright red, which I shudder to think of how it got there.  There were even cobwebs hanging between the fold of the door and the awning thing. I went in fearlessly, telling myself it was just for fun, like horoscopes.  No one actually believes those, but they sure are fun to look at.

“Who awaits the touch of fate?” A weathered voice came from the corner. It was very stereotypical, with the fog surrounding my feet, and the only light coming from a real oil-burning lamp next to a table with a glass ball on it. The person behind it, however, was entirely different. Yes, she was female, but the voice must have been a recording because she looked to be 10 or 12. She was wearing a flowy, draping wrap that went past her feet under the table, down the little pathway made between the curtains & cabinets and whatever else, almost to the door where I was standing.

She looked at me, standing there dumbstruck by the door-flap. Her small, oval face scrunched up a bit, impatiently. “Well, are you coming? I would prefer to get out of this itchy thing before midnight!” She said in a decidedly not-weathered voice. Then she started to tap her foot impatiently, just a bump under the fabric.

I walked over, seeing no choice with this demanding little thing. “What do I do?”

“Just put your hand on the crystal, and let it feel your essence.” What were they teaching children these days? She was completely serious about it.

I reached over to the cool clear ball. It was smooth, and shiny. It looked like something I could get in a dollar store. Until it lit up, spilling a bright greenish light all over the walls, me, and the girl.

“Good.” She nodded approvingly, having placed her hand on the other side of the ball as mine. “It likes your feel. That means that you have Nature’s approval. After all, crystal is rock. And rock is natural.” Her finger was jumping up and down, across the ball in time to her lilting speech. She had some usual characteristics of a fortune teller, I suppose. “Do you camp often? The crystal says you feel like Earth. That would be your element then.” I was totally confused. This girl talked a mile a minute about nonsense.

“You know, the element attached to your horoscope? I think you're probably a Capricorn? That’s an Earth element.”

I stared at her. How did she know that?

“Okay. So I was right. Well, you feel like one. Anyway, my crystal says that you really need a pet. It says you're lonely since your last girlfriend broke up with you. Why were you even with her? She seems really mean.” The girl pouted. As if in response, the light turned a deep, bloody red. “Once, a lady like her came in, then saw me and said some awful things about me. I don’t know why. I mean, I didn’t even say anything, except played that recording that Lena says I have to. She says less monkeys will come in if I don’t.” I don't particularly want to know what she means by 'monkeys'. Although I do have a guess.

The girl continued to talk tapping her finger which her spooky changing colors crystal ball. I knew it was probably electric, that she had a button or something under her wrap, but she was hitting right on target with whatever she said about my life. It was like she had a map to my -personal - thoughts and feelings.

Including, of course, but not limited to berating me for my desire to get back together with Jenna. She seemed to really hate her, even though from what I could tell she just knew her from whatever that crystal ball of hers told her. 

She also told me my locker number from Grade 11 in high school would bring me great fortune. I told her I didn't know it, which was necessary lie. I thought. The karma was almost instant, though.

“Of course you know it!" she shrieked, easily loud enough to be heard outside the flimsy tent. I think she did that on purpose. "Its been the code to your lock on your stalker Jenna shrine since high school!” Holy mother of computer software. How did she know that?!!!

My eyes were wide and staring at her as she looked at me smugly. "I don't like being lied to. Fate did not like that either. Just go outside." I knew I was dismissed, and I was too astonished to even care that i was being ordered around by someone roughly 12 years my junior. 

Opening the tent flap, the greedy lady looked at me and laughed. I looked away from her, only to be assaulted by the sight of just the person I did not want to see waiting in like next. 

Jenna just looked at me and laughed. 

The fortune teller's voice floated to my ears somehow, from behind me "Can you keep her away? She looks mean.""

There. The ending may seem a bit rushed, but I only edited it once, so it's pretty good for that. I like it, anyway. Was fun to write. Usually I'm not so mean to characters, but this was just too fun.